My least favorite question

but the one that people have been asking me every day for the past 2 months........Have you found a job for January yet?

Nope but when I find one I'll let you know.

My Dad got quite the kick out of that question last night. Er. Seriously. I hate that question. There are no open jobs as of yet in my division and I'm not really looking to jump divisions at the moment. I'm not sure I want to jump into another job. I would like one, but maybe subbing is what I want to do for Jan-June. I haven't really decided, but I'll let you know.

Please please for the love of God, don't ask. I'll tell when ready.

Lost

My Gramma passed away this afternoon.

100 Things....

I am a constant blog reader, and I kept seeing these 100 lists. I decided to try it. See if I could do it. I challenge you to do it, and then let me know so I can come read your list...


I am the oldest of six
I went to Brandon University
I moved 7 times in 5 years.
I love the game show Lingo
A is the second last letter of all three of my names
I hated my middle name until about a year ago
I am named after both of my grandmothers
I have never thought I was beautiful
Both my sister and mother are beautiful
I get immense happiness from cuddling with my cats
They love me no matter my faults.
I have many faults.
I doubt myself.
I love girly-alcoholic drinks.
I also love rye and coke.
I hate beer.
I’m not sure I can come up with 100 things.
I was picked to be a student leader in the cafeteria in junior high.
I think they picked students who needed self esteem boosts.
It sure gave me one.
I wonder what happened to those kids I went to school with.
I always thought I would be married by 20.
I now realize that it will be years before I can make that kind of commitment.
My Dad thinks I struggle with self esteem because of Nancy
How I feel about Nancy is a post in itself.
I miss my Mom, more and more as I get older.
I have realized that I am not normal.
I am immensely proud of my brothers.
I love love love this new apartment.
I am not worried about my next job.
I really should be.
My life motto is LIVE!
I’m trying to live with no regrets.
I still have many.
I have 61 contacts on MSN.
I only talk to a few.
I miss the easiness of University.
I was incredibly proud of myself for convacating from University.
I think my cousins Kai and Jaden are the cutest ever.
I love my new vacuum.
It sucks so well and it was money well spent.
When I saw the report cards for the first time, I almost threw up.
School makes me happy.
My students make me smile everyday.
I never buy the same cat food. I always buy whats on sale.
I think I may grow my hair out.
I fake my love for the riders. I don’t really care that much. But it pisses people off in Manitoba. So I say I love the Riders.
I really am a good girl at heart.
I care too much about peoples opinions.
I have started to go to a really neat church.
It intrigues me in ways I can’t explain.
I can’t believe I am on 52.
I love reading peoples secrets on http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/
I enjoy singing childrens songs.
My favorite song of all time is You are my Sunshine.
I want a tattoo
It will be a line from the song in 55.
MY mom sang it too me all the time.
I have many memories of my early childhood, although your not supposed to.
Some are probably ones I’ve made up from stories, but I cling to them.
I have PCOS.
This disease sucks monkey balls.
I was never good at math.
I can read really fast. Ask Chantel/Angela.
I loved working at Forbidden Flavors.
I would go back if I could be the General Manager.
If teaching doesn’t work out, I will open my own coffee shop.
I really really love Wheat King Hockey.
I miss going to the games with my resident date Hannah.
I lurk on many blogs and never comment.
I would love to go on What Not to Wear.
I love to dance.
I dance all the time. when.no.one.is.watching.
I wish I could sing like Courtenay.
I love playing the piano. If I practiced I might be pretty good.
I want to take piano lessons.
Sometimes I let my cats on the table. When I feel guilty about not playing and working instead.
I will never regret buying Koda.
If I could do the summer I was 20 over again, I would, but not for the reasons you think.
I miss my Grandma Gray.
My Grandma Fraser is one of the strongest women I know. I hope I get her strength.
I got her cowlick.
I hate t-shirts. I only own 2. I only wear them at the gym.
I can’t pluck my own eyebrows.
I have a very low pain tolerance.
My favorite memory of my Grandpa Fraser is going “uptown” for coffee with him.
I hate vacuuming the stairs.
I wonder what this list will look like when I am 50. What will have changed?
I only do my laundry once a week.
I never make my bed. Seems useless.
I love playing board games.
I wasn’t in love when I “did the deed”
I made the decision and I don’t regret it.
My favorite author as a child was Judy Blume. Her books make me smile now!
I love Harry Potter.
I read Harry Potter to prove that you could read it and not love it. I failed miserably.
I have made my students cry, but not by being mean, but my making them tell the truth, or apologize.
I do not let my students have temper tantrums. Several have tried.
I can’t believe I made it to 99!I love my hot pink bathroom

Thank Goodness for IP tracking....

I am very thankful I have a site tracker on my site. I love knowing who is reading my blog. Where they are from, and sometimes I'm lucky enough to be able to read their blog.

I'm not sure if you've been reading for long, but last post I voiced some frustration with my career. I think this is normal, and although it may not seem like it. I am loving it. I love my students and its just me. I am very hard on myself and always have been. Its just coming to a stressful time of the year for me, and with the extra hormones that I have running through my body, (thanx Doc) I am a little more stressed and a little more hormonal. But I will persevere, I have too. I almost quit University 4 times, but I continued and I'm happy I did.

For the time being I have put my comment moderator on. I recieved a comment today, that I wasn't especially fond of, but realize that this person is just stating what they think. I believe everyone has their own opinion, and if you choose to share it on this blog, put a name behind it. We're all adults here!

Drowning

I'm not good at asking for help, nor am I good at admitting defeat.

I've felt quite inadequate and have for quite a bit. I'm not sure I cut it. I'm really struggling, floundering actually. Just barely keeping my head above water. I feel so green and so new, and all I can think sometimes is only one more month. One more month, isn't that sad. Thats not how it should be.

And no one understands. And that pisses me off. I've lost more friendships then I care to think about. I've become a loner, someone who doesn't have any close friends anymore, and I hate that.

I just feel quite overwhelmed. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this....

Do you ever feel guilty?

Do you ever feel guilty? I got my first Christmas present today, and I feel guilty. I don't feel guilty because I have what people in other countries have,(although I feel that too) but guilty because its not what I wanted. I have a strong dislike for gift. Let me rephrase that, I love giving gifts but I hate recieving them.
I hate knowing that its not exactly what I wanted and then telling that person that its wonderful and all that jazz.

Today my television finally konked out after like 20 years. My parents had bought me a new one for Christmas. But its way smaller then what I would have bought myself, and now I feel guilty taking it back. Its always the thought that counts right. And I seem to think that they will be hurt if I take it back. I hate being a people pleaser!

Does anyone else get this way or am I just off in left field??