See those things circled? Those are wisdom teeth.
REPEAT AFTER ME: Wisdom teeth are stupid. Really, what did God ever think to give them to us? They have no point and supposedly most people have to get them taken out.

Seriously though, over the past two days, I have had some amazing pain in the back of my mouth. And then I decided I should look and see what was up and theres a HUGE hole in my mouth and i can see tooth. Now I knew that wasn't good, so I called a dentist here and made an emergancy appointment.

So I paid $60 for the appt and then $40 for the medication for the pain and infection to find out that I have to go and see an oral surgeon in Brandon to take out all four of my wisdom teeth. Now I'm scared. I've never had to have anything like this. And I've heard the horror and the good stories, but its happening to me and I'm still scared. Nothings alleviating the fear in my heart. Seriously I may just beg my Dad or my sister to come and hold me hand.

Anyways thats my rant for the day.
PS: Thanks for those comments on yesterdays post. Seriously brought a tear to my eye and made me so glad for friends like you guys!!!

Life as I know it...

BE FOREWARNED......rambling ahead

This life of mine hasn't always been the easiest road to go down. Lifes dealt me some pretty horrible cards like loosing my mom, and grandma/grandpa. But lifes also dealt me some pretty sweet cards. Lifes given me a Dad that I would never trade for the world. I've been blessed with some amazing friends who build me up and don't ever tear me down. They are always looking out for my best interest even if it means driving around for 45 minutes, giving me the whats what. Although I may complain, I don't think I would have traded that car ride for anything. I learned alot that day and I'm continuing to learn.

I was blessed enough to be able to go for coffee with a dear friend of mine, Cherilee. This woman is truly a woman of God. She is always there for a laugh, good conversation and if I need it advice. Our conversation last night was amazing. I can't share alot of what we talked about, but I'm super glad that we were able to talk. I'm a little clearer on some issues and super confused on others, but I'm working hard on figuring those out.

I went to church this weekend, and Pastor Dave talked about self-esteem and guilt. Both of which I struggle with on a daily basis. I've come to realize that I have an extremly low self-esteem. I make many stupid decisions that I think will boost it, but it always ends up having the oppisite reaction. Then the guilt comes in. I'm slowly realizing all over again, that maybe I do need to make room for God in my life. But where does he fit in? I know all the sunday school/church answers. But I'm not sure that works for me. I don't think right now I can make him everything. That truly scares me if I am to be honest. It scares me to think about how much I will have to change. Will I lose friends? Fun, will i be able to have fun anymore? The life I'm leading now isn't what I want, but what if thats not the life I want. Its all confusing and never ending.

I know this is somewhat of a rant, and somewhat of a confessional. I'm scared thats the bottom line. I'm scared of what I've become, of what I was, and of what I will become.

The Pact

Two Blogs in one day....whew....


So I made a pact, and I'm putting it here on the web so everyone knows!

I, LINDSAY GRAY, will not date until June. If I want to begin a relationship, I hereby promise to bring this man home to meet my friends. They will have to give approval and I promise to take thier opinions seriously as I'm learning my choices haven't always been the best!

Everyone seems to think this is a great idea, but I don't think you people realize how incredibly hard this is going to be for me! I like my men! I really enjoy a good date and its scary to think of the next 8 months as JUST ME TIME! I guess this is when I'm gonna get to deal with my issues and learn to love myself. But be patient, you may hear/read lots of complaining!

Just a side note

Just as a side note to follow up on today. You all know I've been harassing student loans. Finally I got an answer today. I offically got told I am getting student loans. YEAH!!! Thanks everyone for praying, crossing your fingers etc.

Why?

Why? Why do kids always misbehave when there is a subsitute teacher? I don't ever remember misbehaving on purpose, but I betcha I did it. Cause thats the kinda kid I was. Anyways so today was the day of my first evaluation. I was SO ready. I had my two completed units for her. I was ready to defend and explain my units. I was so excited. I had some nervous angry dinosaurs doing the macerana in my tummy, but that could be overcome right?

Right. So she was impressed with my units and my assessments. YEAH!! I did a gym dance lesson. The kids were actually well behaved. They jumped when I said jump and danced when I said dance. We learned the boot scootin boogie, and then I allowed the kids to free dance. Good times had by all. They love it, who knew! Anyways the evaluation went something like this. Great classroom management, great lesson, great..............etc, the thing I think you could do better is... GUESS? She wants me to change my lesson so that the kids dance together, and work in pairs instead. Great I can do that. Whew, what a relief, the dinosaurs in my tummy went to sleep and I think I was on a natural high all day.

For the rest of the day the kids were just, I'm not sure how to explain it. Maybe wonky? Thank god I didn't have to deal with puke, fighting kids or making kids cry, but I did have to deal with swearing on the playground, and one kid that fought me tooth and nail to not work in Language Arts and then put his best (ever) work in math. WHO KNOWS!!! Anyways all in all it was a great day. I got lots of planning for tomorrow. I am unsure if my teacher will be absent or whatnot, so I am gearing up, trying to be fully prepared to teach the full day, or at least plan it. Off to work.........toodles!

Shaking with Nervousness!

So tomorrow is my first evaluation of this student teaching term. I am quite nervous if I'm to be honest. I'm not nervous of my teaching ability. I hope that after two terms that I've got it down somewhat. I know I can always improve but I'm confident in my ability. But I am nervous for one reason.
THE KIDS BEHAVIOR. These groups of students are very talkative and during gym they tend to get very hyper. This is okay, but I'm teaching dance, and I want them to listen!!! I really really want them to listen. I mean I know the techniques to make them listen but its just the fact that I'm gonna have to do it.
I also have a new advisor this year. It should be interesting as shes used to evaulating students from the University of Saskatoon. Hopefully she is good and I get something out of her evaluations. Anyways I should run as I definalty have tons of prep. But thats a rant I'll save for later!!!

My Baby Sister

This is my beautiful amazing little sister. 19 years ago this June, my mom and dad gave my the present of Courtenay. And even though I wanted a little brother named Ryan at the time, I'm super happy that I have her now.

Courtenay is my one full blood relative. She is the one person in this world who understands how I feel when I talk about losing my mom. Although I haven't always wanted to talk to her about it, I know shes there in a heartbeat, ready to hold my hand or whatever I need.

She is one of the most beautiful women I know both outwardly as well as inwardly. She has this natural beauty that just amazes me everytiime I look at her. Her inner beauty comes out in most everything she does. She is patient, and kind and incredibly loving. She has so much more patience then me. She also has the most heavenly voice I've ever heard. I love listening to her sing. I could listen to her forever, and she knows it so she never wants to sing for me. But I'll forgive her.

Our roadtrips home are always a treat for me. I get to dance and sing, and then we always fight during the last 10 minutes of the car ride. Don't ask me why, its just the way it happens. We both know it and I think sometimes we both play it up.

Anyways, so thats my baby sister. We do not look alike and I'd be hardpressed to say our personalities are the same, but I love her all the same!

SASKATCHEWAN, WE LOVE THIS PLACE!
Songwriter: Stan Garchinski

I have shared your laughter - I have shared your tears

I have watched you grow for a hundred years

I have walked your cities

I have breathed your country air

I love this place, I love it here

We are many and we are one

Lift your voice and sing Saskatchewan

We are many and we are one

‘Cause we love this place Saskatchewan

I have seen your strength – I have felt your love

With hearts as big as the skies above

I have seen your rivers – run fast and strong

I love this place - it’s where I belong

We are many and we are one. Lift your voice and sing Saskatchewan.

We are many and we are one ‘Cause we love this place Saskatchewan
One hundred years we celebrate with joy

We celebrate with joy a hundred years

One hundred years we celebrate with joy

We celebrate with joy one hundred years

Many of you have now realized the topic of my blog. I LOVE SASKATCHEWAN!! There are many reasons I feel the way I do. There are many wonderful things about Sask, from the fact that my family lives here, to the fact that we have a great football team. We are the easiet provience to draw. We have amazing famous people, with the best show "Corner Gas" filmed right here in Sask. Anyways, many people don't understand my love, but just wait until you move away, your love will grow!!! I promise, theres not people like Saskatchewan people!

Introducing Jaden!

This is Jaden Heather Loroff, who just might be my cutest cousin yet!! I am living with her and her parents while I student teach in Saskatoon and she's a darling.

I'm not going to pretend that shes a doll all day long and that she never cries cause that would be a huge lie. But she has had more good days then bad.

I enjoy coming home and seeing her after a day at school. She smiles her sweet little smile and if I'm lucky she'll want to come to me and say Hello. But more often then not she just wants her Mom or Dad.

I love her newest discovery. Shes learned how to clap, and does it whenever. But I love when she just looks at me and starts to clap. She knows when shes done something good and she'll clap for herself. Its adorable!!

Living with Jaden is also the best birth control I've ever had. I have come to the realization that I am no where near wanting kids yet. They are so much work, and I think I'm way too selfish for them. But hopefully someday, but not in the near future!!!

Anyways so now you've got to meet the newest one in my family!!!

The first post

Well I've decided to try this blogging site instead. Hopefully its gonna be easier to use and easier to read. We'll just have to wait and see. Let me know what you think.